Monday, December 10, 2007

More bathroom reading

You might be irrational if...

You think banana boxes would make good beds for your children.

You leave your daughter on the road after she gets out because she's mad.

You get all crazy about a missing tie you lent to someone.

You walk out of class when your professor starts talking about global warming.

You start talking about how illegals should go back to Mexico and your dislike of them, when your in a thrift store full of them. And you think what better place to spout off your mouth then this.

You throw your children's toys out the window when driving 60 mph, because they wouln't stop fighting.

You take thousands of pictures and then edit thousands more just for the ONE picture.

You try to outbasket case your sister, but she has you beat and breaks down in front of you and you don't know what to do.

You are proud of your irrationalism.

You have a poop hole in your back yard and its okay as long as you have a working swamp cooler pump.

You take your kids to church and school in a red feed truck. It is only a single cab and so the family has to ride in the back.

You store your garbage for months in the shed, because it only costs 17 dollars when you get around to taking it as opposed to the 25 dollars a month for someone to pick it up.

You try yelling at your kids still even thought you've lost your voice.

You set traps in front of doors and windows so if someone breaks in you'll be able to hear them.

The door rings and you hold very still, but then get your 22 and wait by the door for them to leave. Only to find out it was the flower delivery guy.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Monday, December 3, 2007

The second installment

So I am back with more. I have been kicking around the title. Bathroom reading for irrationalist. Or Bathroom reading: Thoughts of an irrationalist. I'm not sure that is even a word but what do I care.

So we begin-

How about you might irrational if....
You are involved in a rear end fender bender, ( you are the one who got hit) and you drive off before the other person can get out of the car.

You then stay home for a week because you don't want to run into the car that hit you.

You are trying to buy a boat, while your wife is pregnant, you are looking for a place to live, and a job for her.

You have an opportunity to make alot of money for doing one job, but you don't wanna commit, so you don't work for 3 months thinking that the job will go away and you won't have to talk to the guy in charge of the job.

You decide to take some pressure off your husband and use your blood money to live for the next year.

You resist the urge to add on to your home for fear that it means you are staying forever in that house.

You think there should be justice in this world and you are the one to make sure it happens.

You want to tie up a goat in your ex's front yard because he never came to get it and you've been feeding it for the past 6 months.

You decide your baby has cooked long enough and its time for her to come on out into the world, so you basically kick her outa you. Then she looks like an embryo for a month.

You decide to take the afore mentioned baby only a few days old to Texas to sign papers on a house, when the papers could be overnighted to you and you could stay home and rest.

You wear mad make-up to church and think nothing of it. (Picture Josie putting on your make-up)

You tell your sister you won't go to her wedding because you wanted her to marry someone else.

You yell at someone who speeds over a speed bump and chase after them.

You throw your brothers in the pool to teach them to swim.

You call housing because the maintance man who came to your house while you were out ate some of your oreo cookies. You know this because you placed them in such a way you would recognize if some were taken and there are miniscule crumbs on the counter and you are a better housekeeper than that.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

You might be irrational if....

So I've been thinking lately about writing a book, similar to you might be a redneck if... Only it would be you might be an irrational______ if. I need some help filling in the blank or even a better title. Let me give you a brief taste of some of the things I have learned.

You might be irrational if.....

You think it is okay to spray out your A/C vent thru the roof as long as you have a shower curtain on the ground.

You set your brothers trailer on fire and watch it burn while the firefighters are there.

Your sure your husband isn't having an affair even though he moved out months ago.

You call your childs teacher out to fight about them staying after school

You are sure someone is hiding behind your shower curtain everytime you come home.

You plant your whole backyard in corn, yes the whole backyard.

You think because you live in one state, that is why everything bad is happening to you, If you just lived in another state everything would be perfect.

You wonder why everyone else has a great life, except you. Nevermind you have a job, a healthy family, a place to live and all your body parts.

You yell at the other teams coach for intentionally walking your best hitter, telling him he cheated.

You scratch your face, because your mad at someone.

You cut your eyelashes on one eye, because you were mad at your parents.

The list goes on and on, so tell me what you think!!!

Monday, November 19, 2007


Here are some photos of the truck

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Black Ice and Elk

Traveling at night will prompt Papa to worry about black ice, and Fletcher to worry about elk. Or as Anthony and AJ say "Elk Elk Elk Elk" No need to worry anymore, Monday night we were headed home after spending the day with Wendy in Flagstaff. We wern't 10 minutes on the road when "Boom" we hit an elk. I thought we hit a car, until Fletcher said we just hit an elk. We were in the passing lane and he just jumped out at us and we plowed right into him. Everyone was fine except Fletcher. No don't worry he wasn't hurt physically, but his truck was mangled and his door couldn't open so he had to sit and wait for the DPS officer to come.
The funny thing is the 911 operator and the DPS officer were really concerned as to if the elk was deceased. I'm pretty sure he is dead, we have blood down the side of the car and the front and drivers side is munched up. So I called Wendy and asked her to pick us up, we would be staying another night. Her boys were excited in fact in Reeds prayers he was thankful that we would be living with them until our truck was fixed.
On our way home the next day,(in daylight) we passed by the "scene of the accident" and there was our buddy the elk still in the medium, I'm no hunter or expert but his "rack was pretty big, probably a 5x5" I have no idea what that means.

Now on to my new crusade. If Jeff can campaign for gluttonous praise then I will too. I need only 5 responses to start blogging again.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Happy over

This year I was humbug. Halloween is usually my holiday, this year I just wasn't in to it. I was thinking why don't we just count the church trunk or treat good and forget trick or treating. Also do you think Halloween will gradually fade away, I mean its already been around for centuries. On the bright side the Halloween award goes to Anthony and Sara. I hope they post a picture on their blog. They were like a train wreck, you had to look but at the same time you felt like you shouldn't be looking. They are top notch in the Halloween Hall of Fame. I know you all will be missing me and my wittiness,but we are going to the mother land for the weekend. So I bid you farwell.

Monday, October 29, 2007

I should be making the sample crafts for the "Super Saturday", but of course I now have all these other things that need to be done. Go thru my closet, catch up on my blog, maybe a little nap. Yesterday was the Primary Program, I was so proud of Dakota and Cy. Dakota knew all the songs and her part, she is such a sweet girl I can't believe she's almost 12. Cy was true to form. He said his part and then when he finished he smacked his head like he did something wrong. It was a source of amusement for all in the chapel. He did a great job singing also you could definitly hear him. Then there's Josie. She was fine until after the sacrament. Danny and Fancy took her out and she fought, I mean really kicking screaming scratching arching her back, for about 15 min then gave up and went to sleep. She is so charming.

Friday, October 26, 2007

Baa Baa black sheep

Josie was chasing the goat around this afternoon, she is the only one who can get near it. She goes up and smacks it and pulls its tail. Now the goat is missing his friends the horses so he plays in the front yard and is bleating loudly. Josie goes right up to his face and tells it, "no,no,no,no Baaa. That must be her way of telling it to be quiet. Then the goat takes a poo, well alot of poo's. Josie thinks its funny and proceeds to pick up a nanny berry and squish it. Atleast she didn't eat it.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery

Saturday I bought Cy a new pair of Sunday shoes. They were loafer style. Sunday afternoon he puts them on and walks out of his room and says, "I look like Papa".
I have to say he did. Whether he knew it or not, he only had one sock on, so he did look like Papa when he wouldn't wear socks. We finished getting ready and left for church. As he is walking up to the church he must have realized or saw that he still only had on one sock! He laughed and said how he looked like papa again. I thought he would want to go back home for a sock, but he thought it was hilarious and wanted to go tell all his buddies how he looked like Papa.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007


Okay if you were tired of looking at my jack o lanterns, like Wendy and Anthony you should have just said so. But being tagged gives me an excuse to update my blog. So

4 jobs I've had: Shoney's- When the fanny hits the seat, the water hits the table
Airport Gift Shop- thanks to Wayne, I met Eraina and Don
Dairy Queen- I gained 15 lbs in just 3 months
Bank of America- I never balanced & is that 2 zeros or 3
4 places I've lived
Chandler, before it was a shopping mecca
Mesa, before it was little Mexico but not before it was the hood
Queen Creek, before it was the "rich" place to live
Valley Farms, or Florence but not Coolidge
4 movies I love
Nacho Libre- It is my "duty"
Pride and Prejudice- The A&E version, thanks to Dana and Lindsay
and one looooong night in Utah
Chorus Line- fullfills my dream of performing on stage
Hairspray/Grease- need I say more
4 movies I'd love to see
I can't think of any that don't have a sad ending or are
unrealistic in the romantic sense or that are just plain wrong.
4 wierd things about me
I can't think of any that you all don't already know but here goes
I pick my toes until they bleed
I like the soft skin on my arm, especially when it's cold
I love to collect fabric but I don't like to sew
I like to eat the peanut first then the chocolate in peanut M&M's
4 places I'd rather be
The beach
A beach
An exquisite beach
How about the beach

Now Chan you need to update I tag you.
And Chea, Fancy pants gave you a perfect excuse to update your blog

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Mr. Jack-o-lantern is very round and fat

Do you remember that song? He has a yellow candle right beneath his hat. What about "What do you want to be on Halloween night? A witch or a goblin or a ghost? What do you want to be well don't tell me. Wait till Halloween and let me guess." I have the tape for those who are interested in a trip done memory lane. Like 20 years ago.
Anyways for FHE we carved pumpkins. We gutted them, and saved the seeds to cook. Josie couldn't wait and ate the guts, but spit out the seeds. The kids had alot of fun and want to do another one next week. They are from left to right- Cy, Josie and Dakota.

Monday, October 8, 2007

You are sixteen going on seventeen...

Josie is 1 1/2 going on 18. Today in the car I gave her Dakota's lip gloss to play with. She mostly sucks on it and smears it all over her lips. After I felt she had ingested enough I asked for it back. She said "no". Josie give it to me, "No dfjjfkdfj. Her mumbo jumbo. Then she pointed her finger at me and told me no again with what I assumed were some choice words. Again I told her to give it to me, now she just turned her head and ignored me. After a few more tries she just waved at me and said "Bye" I think that is her way of telling me to talk to the hand, cause she isn't listening.
Cy and Dakota started back to school after fall break. Yesterday Cy lamented the fact that they had to go back and kept saying I hate school. I told him to stop saying hate. So this morning when I went to wake him up, the first words from his mouth are, "I despise school." Trust him to have a way with words.

Saturday, October 6, 2007

Home again, home again, jiggity jig, jig

We are back from the motherland. We had a great time. The kids all got down at the reception on the dance floor. Cy and all his boy cousins were jumping around and sliding on the floor. And Dakota and Abby were getting their groove on too. Of course Josie was right in front of the wedding party while they were eating and treated them to her dancing, but only after she would check to make sure they were watching. She ran Fletcher ragged, pushing him all around where she wanted to go. She found a puppy outside and tried to feed it grass, she thinks everything eats hay.
Cy and Ty made a river that ran down the hill from the water tank and had a great time exploring. Dakota helped Gramma Debbie watch JoryAnn and Jaycey(cousins baby)
The kids had a great time. Josie found Fletcher's belt buckles and tried putting them on her belly. She knew where they were supposed to be, but couldn't figure out why hers wern't staying on. It was pretty funny.
Josie is definitly trying her boundaries. She points her finger at you and tell's you no. Everything is no. And she want's to go everywhere with her dad. Which is fine with me. When she would see a cow she would say moo and then tell it bye.
The kids are excited to go again in Nov. for shipping. This time they all will have their own horse to ride and can help gather them up and stuff. I really don't know what they do, but it sounds good.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

I know, I know

So even I'm getting sick of looking at the same post when I go to my blog. But I've gone so long I don't know where to start. So I'll just fill you in on Josie. She has learned to say Please, more like pees but you get the idea. She thinks if she says please she'll get whatever she wants. Which of course she does. She'll stand in front of the freezer and say pees, even though she has already had 4 popcicles. And she'll stand in front of the candy jar and say pees. You get the idea, if she knows she can't have it, she'll preface it with please and it works like a charm. She is definitly in the terrible two, alittle early. We were in a thrift store yesterday and I in a moment of stupidity let her play on a jeep. She played for 5-6 minutes, then I wanted to try on clothes. So I picked her up and she immediatly started screaming, kicking, thrashing. I put her in the cart and proceeded to the dressing room. All the while she is still screaming and kicking and generally raising he**. She flings herself back into the cart and starts kicking in there. This is all in the space of 2 minutes though it felt like eternity for me. But on the up side I found a desk just like the one Wendy found at a thrift store and I've been coveting it. So of course I had to get it. Nevermind I don't have any room for it. But it was destiny and it was only $25. So now I have a little less room in the kitchen, but I do have a lovely desk.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

An Ordinary Man

"An Ordinary Man, they say he's nothing more than just an ordinary man
He saves me from the crash by flashing me that knowing grin
And if my Father up in Heaven is anything like him than I would give the world
to be with him thru all eternity
And tell him thanks for sending me to just an ordinary man"

Lyrics from "An Ordinary Man"
Happy Birthday Dad
I love you

Monday, September 10, 2007

Pat a cake, pat a cake, bakers man

Josie decided to help me make cinnamon rolls. She mostly liked the butter and dough.

Saturday, September 8, 2007

Say cheese

These are the only photos I could find of Chea. She usually is behind the camera. She is the one that makes us all look beautiful and glamorous. It's a gift,but she thinks everyone sees like that. She made me wedding magazine perfect with me as the centerfold. My kids look like tv ads. She definitly sees the world thru a soft focus lens.Happy Birthday and a million diet coke with lime birthday wishes.

Friday, September 7, 2007

This little piggy..

For activity day yesterday, we were going to make this cute little piggy banks out of little aquapod water bottles. Wendy said they were going to do it for theirs. Cute idea but no real instructions, like do you paint the pig with paint, how do you get things to stick ect. How hard could it be?
The girls seem to enjoy painting the water bottles, oh yeah first I made them drink the water and then they could paint. I guess I didn't take into account the drying time. Oh well. Next we tried to glue on pipe cleaner ears and tails, and googly eyes. Now glue is a tricky thing. If you have the right kind everything works out, the wrong kind and its a disaster. No I did not use hot glue,although it may have worked out better. I had a clear all purpose stick to everything glue, everything except painted plastic. By the end all the eyes and tails had fallen off and they were left with a bad preschool project. A pink painted water bottle. It's okay 'cause they had more popcorn and vacumned up the mess. It seems to be their favorite part the vacumning. Maybe next time we'll just vacumn the church.

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Happy, Happy Birthday children dear.....

A special Birthday wish for Fancy Pants. I hope you get that dog you always wanted. I'm sure Danny wouldn't deprive you of something you love, and you do ask for so little.

And another birthday shout out to my lovely brother, Pierce. You are almost elusive as the shadow (Casey), but then you did learn from the best. May all your birthday wishes come true,as long as they are a large bag of chips.

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Good Times

We spent a lovely Labor Day weekend up in Flagstaff, with Wendy. Friday was full of Goodwill weigh by the pound, Savers, and Eric's. Cy and Reed spent their time watching tv and Dakota of course with the adults and Blue alternating between the boys and Josie and Beau.
Saturday Papa showed up around 9 am, which was unexpected but fortunate for us. We of course left him to watch tv(cable) and the youngins. We went to Target for what I don't know and I can't really remember what else we did. But I do remember a conversation that was had with Chea where I learned a new word. I was asking her when and if she was coming up. We wanted to go downtown but if she was coming we would wait for her. She said we should go and then when she came we could go again, because she didn't want to go to any woodcutter stores. OKaaaaaaay, any woodcutter stores? Because Wendy and I have a fetish for saws? What do you mean woodcutter stores. Wendy of coures offered an explanation,( Blue does speak a foriegn language). You mean granola or tree hugger store. Yeah those. Again, because Wendy and I are granola's? We would wait for her to come.

Now Sunday was a treat it should almost have its own blog. Chea decided that we should make a memory (all of us up there). First it was go downtown to the art show, then to an arboretum, then Sunset Crater the list goes on and on. We must make a memory. We, well technically her and Wendy agreed upon Walnut Canyon. Okay, we'll go. Now I was expecting to look down on a canyon eat some walnuts go to a gift shop and call it good. We loaded into three different cars and head to Walnut Canyon. We get there and you hike down the canyon, which incidentally there are no walnuts anywhere. And then you hike back up. I'm all for memory making and such, but hiking. Oh there are stairs you climb down, then up. Oh thats better as I didn't bring any other shoes but flops. We start down, not bad then I see people coming up and they look like they're breathing alittle heavy. We get half way down and my legs are shaking,now to my credit so are a few other peoples and I am carrying Josie.

After a few picture memories thanks to Chea, which I hope she will post on her blog. Hint Hint. We head back up. At this point I'm thinking why did we choose this memory. After some huffing and puffing and Chea running the last steps with Josie, yes Josie. We made it to the top. Good times, good memories. We all were alittle red in the face and I personally felt like a salt lick, but we headed home.

Yes I am almost done. The adults went to a sushi place for lunch. Now Dad hates Japanese food, but he was a good sport. I think he was hoping they had catfish. Of course Chea, Wayne, Chan and Lee all ordered sushi. Some flying spider stuff, some Las Vegas show girl stuff and various other dead, non cooked fish. Apparantly its good, me I can't get past the raw fish thing. Chea said just pretend its cooked.(She is a big fan). Well the thing is....... I already know its not and I can't pretend otherwise. I think the highlight of the meal, as there were many, but I will leave something for the others to post, was when Dad asked the waiter for some butter for his rice. Butter you say, yes butter. No we do not have any butter, maybe some oil or something but no butter.
I think I'll stop for now and go find my pics that Chea took of my beautiful kids and post them later. Something for you to look foward to.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Movin' on Up

The good news is we don't have to add another room on for Josie (not that we were ever thinking about doing something so permenant at this house in AZ)

She now has her own 3 stories. I missed her checking out the downstairs, but got the camera out in time for her to check out the second floor. Its perfect for her. And its a good thing it was getting a little crowded inside.

On to other news, I'm sure you all know Papa is in the hospital. I know your thinking its something serious but as Papa assured me, it's not. They just wanna give him a colonoscopy so they can make a payment on their BMW. And yes he did tell the Dr that. So they are running tests to find out what his problem is, but we all know what that is. I'm afraid to put it in writing.

Now Mom just took a rough tumble last week and scraped up her face, literally. So in true Arnett fashion he had to show her up. So he fainted and how his blood pressure and heart rate dangerously low then it skyrocketed. They rushed him to the ER where he sat for along time then finally got a room. This afternoon when I talked to him he said they were still trying to figure out what was wrong, I told him don't worry I'm sure if they don't find something they'll make something up. He would be a perfect patient for Dr Cox on "Scrubs". Luckily we have our own "Dr.'s" AJ and Anthony. They pushed out ER Chea, however Chea does get all the useful info, while AJ and Anthony just check out the room and all the gadgets and spout off the info they have learned that has nothing to do with anything.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Rain, Rain, go away

Little miss Jo went out to feed with Fletcher this morning but found something better to do with the buckets and her time. She kept walking from puddle to puddle. Splashing water or scooping up water and dumping it out. It was still raining while she was doing this, but she was having a grand time.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Beauty is in the 'eye' of the beholder

I now have the lashes I have always wanted. Yesterday I went to Wal-Mart and bought some fake lashes, I put them on this morning and LOVED them. And I got compliments from everyone, now normally you would say so Josie loved them. But I went to lunch with Chea, Chan, Fancy Pants, Sara, & Bert. They all agreed it is a good look for me. It's funny how make-up, shoes and purses make me feel like a million dollars. Not so much the make-up up until now. As a wise women once said, when the barn gets old it needs a fresh coat of paint everyday.
So watch out Jackie your not the only one with long lashes. The only problem is my eyes are sensitive, and so after a couple of hours I felt like scratching my eyes out. Oh the things I do for beauty.

Now I'm thinking of excercising, well running, well jogging, okay maybe walking. So I would appreciate everyone giving me their 10 cents (choice of music songs) that are good running excercising songs. You know the kind that make you want to jump around and dance.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Emma and no its not the Jane Austen movie

Last night for mutual we took our girls to the visitor center to watch the new Joseph Smith movie. Where do I start? What an amazing movie, even though I knew how it was going to end.(Okay no more humor this is serious)

I was struck by how much sadness and heartache Emma had to endure. The faith she must have had. To know your husbands life was costantly in danger and you could lose him anytime and then to lose so many of your own children, while your husband could save others he couldn't save yours. (Yes I have seperation issues and death ones)

She was amazing. And then to watch him leave and know he was not coming back, I was sobbing in the theatre. I am grateful for the prophet and for the things he endured also, but I don't think he would be half the man were it not for the love and unwavering faith of his devoted wife, Emma.

Monday, August 20, 2007

A little shameless bragging

So thanks to Chea I have some incredible pictures of my kids to post. Arn't they gorgeous and the kids arn't half bad either. And yes I know there are two of Dakota that are the same. I'm just getting the hang of this. I love all my children the same. Maybe on different days but still all the same.

As long as I have your attention let me tell you a few funny Josie tidbits. On Sunday I wore some black and white spotted sandals (yes the 1.49 Ross clearance) Josie pointed to my shoes and said" mooooo" refering to the shoes and not the wearer of the shoes. She has taken a liking to salad, with lots of dressing to dip the salad. Sort of like Blue with ketsup and fries. She was outside and found a weed that looked alot like spinach. She picked a few leaves and proceeded to chew them up. Not bad I guess, I just hope their not poison weeds. But I guess if the horses and goat are still alive they must be okay. I know what your thinking, they don't eat weeds. Well lets just say when Fletcher is gone they are very fond of grass and weeds as sometimes they are only fed once a day. But it's in the middle of the day so it's like being fed twice, and I know there are weeds and grass for them to eat if they get really hungry.
Wow that was like a run on thought, huh.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Hi my name is Heidi and I'm a rescuer

I got another phone call from the school today. Dakota has extended school day, just another word for after school detention. She didn't finish filling out her word search. Of course she is crying and I talk to her teacher again. So I tell Dakota don't cry I'll come pick you up early.
I get to the school and her teacher just happens to be at the front desk. So I tell her I need Dakota, she'll be going home. Her teacher walks away and about five minutes later she returns, no Dakota. She informs me that Dakota will have extended day tomorrow then. (Don't threaten a crazy lady, she has nothing to lose) So I promptly tell her " Well I'll just pick her up tomorrow and every day after that." And me and my people will be waiting for you in the school yard after school. ( I didn't really say that but it did cross my mind.)
Teacher: I'll have to report that to the vice principal, I have to cover myself
Me: Tell whoever you have to - She doesn't know he and I already have a relationship, thanks to Cy. Another blog story.

The teacher comes back and says she left a message with him. Great, I look foward to talking to him. Finally Dakota comes down and tells me her teacher told her the same thing. She has all day school tomorrow. Don't worry Dakota Mommie Dearest will take care of everything. The thing that really gets me is I sit down every night to do homework with her. We sit at the table for what seems like all night, while she does homework and talks and talks.

Apparantly her teacher doesn't know that to the untrained eye I may appear to be a normal parent, but I am really insane, irrational and out for blood.
I'll let you know how it all works out tomorrow.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Cy's Photo Business

Last year about this time Cy came to me and wanted a picture of Dakota. This is where I should have been concerned. Okay, but why do you need a pic of Dakota. He told me so I don't forget what she looks like. Sweet, but still suspicious. After school the two of them are fighting over two dollars. Dakota says that one of them is hers and Cy says they're his. So I ask Cy where he got the money. He says from Austin. He apparantly sold the picture of Dakota to Austin for 2 dollars. One dollar IS Dakota's.
So far nothing like this has happened this year. But the year is still young.

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Double Duty

Okay so I think it gay to do two posts in one day, but I have to . Josie has found the joy of Lucky Charms, just the marshmellows. She brings you the box and wants you to pick out the marshmellows. So I have, and now there are just pieces of them at the bottom, or so I thought. I told her they were all gone and went back to the computer. A couple of seconds I hear the dumping of all the cereal and sure enough there is more whole marshmellows. Which she can now go thru at her leisure, Why didn't I think of that.


I thought about calling you early this morning to sing Happy Birthday to you but I woke up late and then had to hurry and get Cy and Dakota off to school. While we waited for the bus, Josie decided to go swimming in her little pool. She had on her long footed pj's. That didn't stop her. So then we had to go in and take a bath and by that time the early morning phone call was forgotten. Until I called Chan and she said we would bring you by cake later today and stay and watch you eat it. To make sure you ate it.

Here is my imitation of Dad:
So the kids school started this stamp sheet, if they don't get all yes stamps then they stay after school. Only the school says if they do they get released early, just a clever way to disguise detention. They also have an agenda and reading log to sign every day.

Dakota calls me yesterday afternoon from school crying saying she has to stay after. WHAT!!!! You do not make my little girl stay after. I ask her why. She says I forgot to sign the agenda. Mind you that is not the rule, the staying after is only for the stamp sheet. Let me talk to your teacher. Blah Blah. Yes I guess I forgot to sign her agenda, never mind I signed the stupid stamp sheet and her reading log. Okay, She will stay.

Then I place a phone call to....yes the asssssst. principal. I am calling to complain about the way you are handling the stamp sheet, stay after school, call it what you want but it is still after school detention. I am HOT!!! (and angry)
My girl who is very responsible and tender hearted has detention today because I forgot to sign her agenda. I don't think she should be punished for something I forgot to do. And it was her agenda not the stamp sheet. I was classic Dad, I told him if it happened again I would just pick her up from school and she would not have detention.

Of course the asss principle would look into this and they should only be held after school for the stamp sheet, this was the first he had heard about the agenda , Blah blah blah. You can guarantee it this happens again, you will hear from me.
So does this sound familiar? Clearly I was in the right. So I did one last irrational thing.... I signed everyday for this coming week on her agenda and then wrote that I see her agenda everyday. That one may come to bite me on the butt. Oh well

But I digress....Hope you have a Happy Birthday Mom and I love you. If I had Cheas talent with pics and Wendy's talent and fast internet connection I would post pics of you, but I don't so just imagine.

Monday, July 30, 2007

What does a midget use as a trampoline?

Her bed of course. Sunday morning I wake up to laughing and screaming instead of crying and screaming. I peek open my eyes, because I don't want Jo to know I'm awake. I see her jumping across her crib like the easter bunny. She is having the most delightful time. She thinks its her own trampoline. Now I have never seen a child use her crib as a tramp. That is usually saved for the bed. I guess when your as big as a peanut you use what you can. So there she was jumping back and forth in her crib and occasionally hanging on the sides and jumping. She is a crack up.

Today Chan and I were eating Panda Express and Chan bent down to the plate and ate some chow mein. She bit off the excess and it fell back down. Josie watching her like a hawk, proceeded to eat a mouth full of noodles also and then spit them back out. Then looked up and smiled like she was so proud of coping Chan. She is a funny little squat.

Monday, July 23, 2007

After much anticipation...comes the let down

I have just returned home from the annual " Gramping" trip. For those who are not in the know this is camping up in the white mountains. Cy and Dakota started school today and I have 5 or so loads of laundry, dishes, and a house full of crap to sort thru. I remembered my blog and how important it is that I get to that first.

First last Saturday our AC went out. Not to worry we have a swamp cooler ( it must be older than the hills because it's cooler outside than in). Well needless to say we stayed at Chan's until dark and then came home. Sunday was just like being back in the blue house. Not getting dressed until it was time to go to church. After returning home and changing into what Fletcher called a moo moo? I decided to pack up and me and the kids would head to Wendy's in Flagstaff. As I was leaving Fletcher let me know that I was officially white trash. He said and I quote" You've got a swamp cooler and a moo moo." Did he forget that he wanted to marry me.

Then we came back Wednesday to get our camping stuff together. We were minus Josie as Fletcher wanted to take her back to the MotherLand when he went to get the trailer. We would meet up on Thursday at Hawley Lake.
We met up and the usual camping ensued. Wendy, Chan and Chea rented a caabin. Upon arriving at the cabins I tried to persuade Fletcher to stay the night in them. Wendy had an extra room (Fletcher values his privacy greatly, or he has healthy boundries I'm not sure which.) we could stay in it. Fletcher said he didn't pull a trailer 300 miles for nothing. Translation- We could stay in the cabin but he would be sleeping in the trailer. We all slept in the trailer.

Wendy gave us a window AC unit and brought it up to camping. As Fletcher and Josie would not be joining us at home until Tuesday or Wed., I was in charge of installing this. (I am at home now in Valley Farms)
Now I am really white trash. I have a window unit in my front window and it is being held up by an old metal filing cabinet and extra square metal tubing. I can be quite ingenius when the time calls for it. At least our house is cool.

Now, I take the kids to school. Cy wants to ride the bus, but I take him and Dakota anyways. Cy heads to the playground and wants me to find out what room he is in and come and tell him. No I say you come and find out then you can go play. Dakota meanwhile is holding back tears and holding on to me.
Cy finds his room number and shouts "Bye mom" as he is running to the playground. Dakota and I find her teacher and room number. I walk with her to the classroom and wait for the teacher and the other students. Tears begin to fall, and I have a knot in my stomach. She knows some of the kids but she is still nervous. I tell her teacher she'll be okay she is just tender hearted and needs alittle extra. Her teacher laughs and tells me as long as Mom and Dakota arn't crying she'll be okay. I tell her I quit crying with Dakota last year. And quickly left before she saw my tears. Does it ever get any better? Hopefully by her senior year she can go by herself and I can just follow her without her knowing it.

Now that this is done I think I'll go make a quilt or something equally important. My laundry and house can wait.

Friday, July 13, 2007

...But first a disclaimer

The following stories are NOT fictional and depict real people. In fact you may find yourself in one of these stories. If so do not be alarmed, no animals were intentionally harmed and I will not be paying royalties for use of your name or your misfortunes.

Thursday, July 12, 2007