Monday, December 10, 2007

More bathroom reading

You might be irrational if...

You think banana boxes would make good beds for your children.

You leave your daughter on the road after she gets out because she's mad.

You get all crazy about a missing tie you lent to someone.

You walk out of class when your professor starts talking about global warming.

You start talking about how illegals should go back to Mexico and your dislike of them, when your in a thrift store full of them. And you think what better place to spout off your mouth then this.

You throw your children's toys out the window when driving 60 mph, because they wouln't stop fighting.

You take thousands of pictures and then edit thousands more just for the ONE picture.

You try to outbasket case your sister, but she has you beat and breaks down in front of you and you don't know what to do.

You are proud of your irrationalism.

You have a poop hole in your back yard and its okay as long as you have a working swamp cooler pump.

You take your kids to church and school in a red feed truck. It is only a single cab and so the family has to ride in the back.

You store your garbage for months in the shed, because it only costs 17 dollars when you get around to taking it as opposed to the 25 dollars a month for someone to pick it up.

You try yelling at your kids still even thought you've lost your voice.

You set traps in front of doors and windows so if someone breaks in you'll be able to hear them.

The door rings and you hold very still, but then get your 22 and wait by the door for them to leave. Only to find out it was the flower delivery guy.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Monday, December 3, 2007

The second installment

So I am back with more. I have been kicking around the title. Bathroom reading for irrationalist. Or Bathroom reading: Thoughts of an irrationalist. I'm not sure that is even a word but what do I care.

So we begin-

How about you might irrational if....
You are involved in a rear end fender bender, ( you are the one who got hit) and you drive off before the other person can get out of the car.

You then stay home for a week because you don't want to run into the car that hit you.

You are trying to buy a boat, while your wife is pregnant, you are looking for a place to live, and a job for her.

You have an opportunity to make alot of money for doing one job, but you don't wanna commit, so you don't work for 3 months thinking that the job will go away and you won't have to talk to the guy in charge of the job.

You decide to take some pressure off your husband and use your blood money to live for the next year.

You resist the urge to add on to your home for fear that it means you are staying forever in that house.

You think there should be justice in this world and you are the one to make sure it happens.

You want to tie up a goat in your ex's front yard because he never came to get it and you've been feeding it for the past 6 months.

You decide your baby has cooked long enough and its time for her to come on out into the world, so you basically kick her outa you. Then she looks like an embryo for a month.

You decide to take the afore mentioned baby only a few days old to Texas to sign papers on a house, when the papers could be overnighted to you and you could stay home and rest.

You wear mad make-up to church and think nothing of it. (Picture Josie putting on your make-up)

You tell your sister you won't go to her wedding because you wanted her to marry someone else.

You yell at someone who speeds over a speed bump and chase after them.

You throw your brothers in the pool to teach them to swim.

You call housing because the maintance man who came to your house while you were out ate some of your oreo cookies. You know this because you placed them in such a way you would recognize if some were taken and there are miniscule crumbs on the counter and you are a better housekeeper than that.