More bathroom reading

You might be irrational if...

You think banana boxes would make good beds for your children.

You leave your daughter on the road after she gets out because she's mad.

You get all crazy about a missing tie you lent to someone.

You walk out of class when your professor starts talking about global warming.

You start talking about how illegals should go back to Mexico and your dislike of them, when your in a thrift store full of them. And you think what better place to spout off your mouth then this.

You throw your children's toys out the window when driving 60 mph, because they wouln't stop fighting.

You take thousands of pictures and then edit thousands more just for the ONE picture.

You try to outbasket case your sister, but she has you beat and breaks down in front of you and you don't know what to do.

You are proud of your irrationalism.

You have a poop hole in your back yard and its okay as long as you have a working swamp cooler pump.

You take your kids to church and school in a red feed truck. It is only a single cab and so the family has to ride in the back.

You store your garbage for months in the shed, because it only costs 17 dollars when you get around to taking it as opposed to the 25 dollars a month for someone to pick it up.

You try yelling at your kids still even thought you've lost your voice.

You set traps in front of doors and windows so if someone breaks in you'll be able to hear them.

The door rings and you hold very still, but then get your 22 and wait by the door for them to leave. Only to find out it was the flower delivery guy.

More of Chea's works of art

The second installment

So I am back with more. I have been kicking around the title. Bathroom reading for irrationalist. Or Bathroom reading: Thoughts of an irrationalist. I'm not sure that is even a word but what do I care.

So we begin-

How about you might irrational if....
You are involved in a rear end fender bender, ( you are the one who got hit) and you drive off before the other person can get out of the car.

You then stay home for a week because you don't want to run into the car that hit you.

You are trying to buy a boat, while your wife is pregnant, you are looking for a place to live, and a job for her.

You have an opportunity to make alot of money for doing one job, but you don't wanna commit, so you don't work for 3 months thinking that the job will go away and you won't have to talk to the guy in charge of the job.

You decide to take some pressure off your husband and use your blood money to live for the next year.

You resist the urge to add on to your home for fear that it means you are staying forever in that house.

You think there should be justice in this world and you are the one to make sure it happens.

You want to tie up a goat in your ex's front yard because he never came to get it and you've been feeding it for the past 6 months.

You decide your baby has cooked long enough and its time for her to come on out into the world, so you basically kick her outa you. Then she looks like an embryo for a month.

You decide to take the afore mentioned baby only a few days old to Texas to sign papers on a house, when the papers could be overnighted to you and you could stay home and rest.

You wear mad make-up to church and think nothing of it. (Picture Josie putting on your make-up)

You tell your sister you won't go to her wedding because you wanted her to marry someone else.

You yell at someone who speeds over a speed bump and chase after them.

You throw your brothers in the pool to teach them to swim.

You call housing because the maintance man who came to your house while you were out ate some of your oreo cookies. You know this because you placed them in such a way you would recognize if some were taken and there are miniscule crumbs on the counter and you are a better housekeeper than that.

You might be irrational if....

So I've been thinking lately about writing a book, similar to you might be a redneck if... Only it would be you might be an irrational______ if. I need some help filling in the blank or even a better title. Let me give you a brief taste of some of the things I have learned.

You might be irrational if.....

You think it is okay to spray out your A/C vent thru the roof as long as you have a shower curtain on the ground.

You set your brothers trailer on fire and watch it burn while the firefighters are there.

Your sure your husband isn't having an affair even though he moved out months ago.

You call your childs teacher out to fight about them staying after school

You are sure someone is hiding behind your shower curtain everytime you come home.

You plant your whole backyard in corn, yes the whole backyard.

You think because you live in one state, that is why everything bad is happening to you, If you just lived in another state everything would be perfect.

You wonder why everyone else has a great life, except you. Nevermind you have a job, a healthy family, a place to live and all your body parts.

You yell at the other teams coach for intentionally walking your best hitter, telling him he cheated.

You scratch your face, because your mad at someone.

You cut your eyelashes on one eye, because you were mad at your parents.

The list goes on and on, so tell me what you think!!!

Pictures

Here are some photos of the truck

Black Ice and Elk

Traveling at night will prompt Papa to worry about black ice, and Fletcher to worry about elk. Or as Anthony and AJ say "Elk Elk Elk Elk" No need to worry anymore, Monday night we were headed home after spending the day with Wendy in Flagstaff. We wern't 10 minutes on the road when "Boom" we hit an elk. I thought we hit a car, until Fletcher said we just hit an elk. We were in the passing lane and he just jumped out at us and we plowed right into him. Everyone was fine except Fletcher. No don't worry he wasn't hurt physically, but his truck was mangled and his door couldn't open so he had to sit and wait for the DPS officer to come.
The funny thing is the 911 operator and the DPS officer were really concerned as to if the elk was deceased. I'm pretty sure he is dead, we have blood down the side of the car and the front and drivers side is munched up. So I called Wendy and asked her to pick us up, we would be staying another night. Her boys were excited in fact in Reeds prayers he was thankful that we would be living with them until our truck was fixed.
On our way home the next day,(in daylight) we passed by the "scene of the accident" and there was our buddy the elk still in the medium, I'm no hunter or expert but his "rack was pretty big, probably a 5x5" I have no idea what that means.

Now on to my new crusade. If Jeff can campaign for gluttonous praise then I will too. I need only 5 responses to start blogging again.

Happy Halloween...is over

This year I was humbug. Halloween is usually my holiday, this year I just wasn't in to it. I was thinking why don't we just count the church trunk or treat good and forget trick or treating. Also do you think Halloween will gradually fade away, I mean its already been around for centuries. On the bright side the Halloween award goes to Anthony and Sara. I hope they post a picture on their blog. They were like a train wreck, you had to look but at the same time you felt like you shouldn't be looking. They are top notch in the Halloween Hall of Fame. I know you all will be missing me and my wittiness,but we are going to the mother land for the weekend. So I bid you farwell.